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Self-Sufficiency in Style

stop the world?

part ten

In parts one to nine we introduced you to Britain's Swine Fever and Foot and Mouth epidemics and made some startling claims about their worldwide significance. 

The writer introduced himself and his wife into the story and told you that we caught the government officials faking the records on three quite separate occasions. 

We told you how the police warned us to be careful and how we used many different channels of complaint, even notifying a Select Committee of the House of Commons that there was a cover-up under way. 

They used a former SAS officer to try to force us out of our home for daring to complain to Parliament in retaliation, but the Speaker of the House of Commons refused to offer us protection.

We introduced the possibility that Prince Charles, Prince of Wales and heir to the throne of England was involved - and risked ridicule, but today, nobody is laughing at the writer, St James's Palace is in disarray with a whole series of allegations, including  irregular accounting in his agricultural estate - The Duchy of Cornwall.

The situation was about to get even worse. Escalating to this very day and introducing now the possibility that not just BSE and vCJD, but also SARS, the new human epidemic, is involved.

I now want to talk about computers, not such a dull subject as you might imagine...

Mine came 21 years ago last week on the 25th May 1982.

The Falklands War was under way and, as if to celebrate their national day,  the Argentines had sunk a British cargo vessel m/v "Atlantic Conveyor" carrying jump jets with an Exocet missile.

We were watching the war closely, and with some anxiety, not least because the son of one of my employees was at sea with the taskforce - and we knew the ships well.

Especially the Royal Fleet Auxiliary "Sir" class ships with their distinctive blue ensigns and mixed Anglo-Chinese crews.

Hong Kong Chinese seaman were on board too, sharing the dangers.

Demob Happy!

I had been working on our newest acquisition, an Apple 11+ computer, before setting off for a morning in the City of London.

We were later to become one of Britain's first Apple dealers, but then it was just a machine for helping cut telex tape to ease congestion in the telex room.

I was already fascinated by micros and could see potential for so much more.

I returned from London early, just after lunch, no doubt planning to clear my desk and get away early. It was a Bank Holiday weekend and unusually  hot.

The Company Secretary met me at the office door.

"Sir Thomas Pilkington has been on the 'phone and wants to talk to you urgently."

"What's he want?"

"He would not tell me." I can recall his irritation to this day.

Sir Thomas was Chairman of Harrisons, one of Britain's oldest and proudest shipping lines. One of their ships was made famous in the film "Whisky Galore."

We were their agents.

One of their vessels the "Astronomer" was a couple of hours away inbound with a cargo for us from the West Indies, and many containers of bananas for the near Continent.  

The bananas were to remain on board, specially cooled and mollycoddled by an onboard ventilation system.

Thos & Jas Harrison - an Imperial steamship company.

Based on the Cognac trade from France as

The Charente Steam-ship Company,

then the carrier from the Caribbean to Britain.

"an aircraft carrier?"

"Mr Gardiner, this conversation is confidential.

The "Astronomer" will be with you soon. The Ministry of Defence are on their way. The Royal Navy are taking her as a replacement for the "Atlantic Conveyor."  They need her as an aircraft carrier.

You will please inform my Captain as soon as she is alongside - and render all assistance to the military."

I must have expressed my astonishment, "an aircraft carrier?"

The stern formal tone bent, to agree that it was a most surprising change of roles for a containership.

I marched firmly through the supplicants. "Can I see you, please? Now and in private" and nodded towards his night cabin.

The hubbub ceased as we left the company - this was real lèse- majesté and in public too. 

The Captain looked irritated to be disturbed at a busy time and in such imperious tones.  As we closed the door, I can recall quite clearly his face and recall his next comment as enlightenment came.

"On no, not this ship. She is unsuitable."

I nodded, "The Ministry are on the way. I was to give you early warning. Sir Thomas' instructions."

"Oh No!  Not this ship."

A picture of the MV 'Astronomer' sits above my desk as I write.

The ship is pictured in Port William Sound, aircraft above.

It was given to me by Harrisons, with a letter of thanks to my staff, as a memento.

Possessions are not the measure of a man, but of this humble print, I'm so proud.

Everyone looked expectant, but we said nothing. He cleared everyone from the cabin with the minimum of formality.

The Ministry arrived, commandeered the ship - and as if as an afterthought, my office and staff too.

The "Astronomer" was to become an aircraft carrier. We were all to help get her ready.

The Captain became a proud commander. All his crew volunteered to serve - all of them. Mostly Scousers (Liverpudlians) and Irish they had no hesitation in going to war.

They were right, it was a war of liberation. They were brave men on an honourable duty.

I had just a tiny and non-combatant, but interesting, part in the affair.

The ship was in a European consortium with the Dutch, French and Germans. One ship from each nation. All the 'phones in London were engaged. So it was time to take charge.

By luck, the Dutchman was near - in the North Sea - the M/V "Nedlloyd Hollandia."

I got Rotterdam on the telephone. "Please turn the ship and sail her for Felixstowe immediately. Sir Thomas will confirm the instruction - when I can reach him."

There was a gasp the other end. This is not how things are done.

"There is an emergency. Please issue the orders immediately."  I insisted.

"No, we are not taking such an instruction from you. You must explain."

"No" I said, "I can't. You must do it immediately."

It took numerous 'phone calls and attempts by the French and German partners too, to get an explanation, but together they turned the ship, angrily promising retribution later. 

By this time, they had realised that the panic must have something to do with Britain's war in the South Atlantic.

Sir Thomas eventually was contacted and confirmed the order.

I'm not going to pretend that I did not enjoy my moment in effective  command of a multinational fleet.

"You will please divert the vessel to Felixstowe immediately.

I am giving you a direct command. If you refuse, you will be held personally responsible for all losses."

That was the polite version to the Dutch - the French and Germans got rather rougher treatment.

Life goes in strange circles.

Well it was a Dutch ship - and by one of those strange coincidences of life, I was also agent for Nedlloyd.

They knew me well.

Well, we have to be honest, it was not exactly like this.

But it did have the all essential helicopters on board - and it had the last of Britain's dwindling supply of Harrier Jump Jets.

These were carefully protected by hangers made of steel containers - some of which were stolen by my staff.

We tried so hard to find Argentine containers, but alas we had to use any that came our way.

Aluminium was out of the question. HMS "Coventry" - recall the fire?

Bolt cutters  and "Maggie will pay."

The RAF man had the last word -

"That's the lot. Everything in the country. If they sink this bugger we have lost the war."

Then the Americans got into the act. The berth we needed for the "Nedlloyd Hollandia" was booked by United States Lines.

The Yanks were determined to have their allocated slot and were not going to give way for any Dutchman. We could not tell them the reason why their flagship was going to have to go to anchor and wait.

Fortunately, their senior man was a Brit - and permission was given  to tell him the reason.

"What the hell do I tell New York?" he asked.

"Don't tell them" was the instruction, "just lie."

"And when they find out?" he demanded.

Captain George Blackhall MBE MN the port MD  provided the answer:

"Tell them they were late arriving for the first one (WW1).

They were late for the second one (WW2),

and they are not even in this one yet. They must wait."

I'm told the Americans enjoyed the joke, Blackhall was a long time friend of America. 

But the Americans seemed mystified as to exactly what was going on for quite some time. They probably knew, but were just being polite.

Nobody wanted the Argies to find out that a replacement aircraft carrier was on the way.

It is a logistical and administrative nightmare. In those days before widespread computer use, the paperwork alone would take days to do.

You need checked lists of containers in alpha-numeric order for dozens of different purposes and in separate batches.

Container numbers have this kind of structure - ABCU 123456-7.

The manual system then in operation depended on dozens of slips of paper, paperclips and a great deal of transposing of numbers from one list to another. It was impossible to flood the job with extra hands. We could not do it in the time. It was impossible.

The ships were going to be delayed and millions of pounds of bananas would rot.

Rotten Bananas?

He is a brilliant man. I will spare his blushes by not naming him. Not only a statistician with computer skills, but with business and personal abilities too.

He saw the problem  immediately. "I'll write a program," he said.

He did just that, and overnight wrote a program for the little Apple that saved the day.

We were later to build a successful business on this and other programs as specialist suppliers to the shipping industry. 

This led the writer into even more interesting fields of specialised computer knowledge - of which more later.

The power of the modern state.

It was obvious immediately, that they had not a clue. The eighteen years between using a micro to rescue bananas in a war and the second of the three great British animal epidemics had been wasted.

They had the computers, plenty of them, a million times more power at their fingertips, but they were not in use in any sensible way.

In future articles, I will pick apart their incompetence - if that is what it is.

I doubt it. 

There is increasing evidence leaking out that the government computers have been misused for criminal purposes. 

An air of administrative chaos usually accompanies fraudulent activity.

Crooks love chaos.

Just a simple list, but missing.

Everyone in rural Britain knows that they do not have a reliable list despite the fact that the farmers fills in hundreds of forms every year.

Nobody can be that stupid.

They obviously did not want an efficient system.

- and that Britain's state veterinarians were misusing computer technology.

They were not merely failing to use the power computers offer, they were also using them for illegal purposes.

Straight forward criminal activities - nothing complicated.

Using their discretion?

Others are harassed.  The small farmers.

When forced eventually, reluctantly and late, to introduce computers, Britain's criminal government veterinarians have tried to bend the system to replicate their outdated manual systems.

Discretion, they call it.  We would call it fraud and oppression.

Not just a fraud that would kill millions of animals in despicable cruelty.

It was also a fraud that would mislead the world into a frantic rush for the holy grail of unnecessary biosecurity.

There is no need for the sign on the gate, the razor wire and disinfectant bath.  Even less need for watching your neighbour, hating the foreigner and patrolling your borders.

The precautions are to protect  a gang of rather over-confident and very stupid third rate veterinarians unable to get proper employment and snapped up by a government anxious to go through the motions of meeting its international obligations.

They faked and bullied their way through England, Scotland and Wales, afraid to stop, afraid to continue. Frozen in their criminal activities, frightened and consequently very dangerous.

The men responsible have been promoted and now hold themselves out as world class experts in the control of animal disease.

Is this really what you want?

That stubborn belief in freedom and right.

As always, please check our facts, you are not going to be asked to take much on trust. You can usually do most of it from your computer, information on the Falklands War is generally available.

The writer will be making a number of detailed technical allegations in coming editions. It is important that you know his qualifications and background.

Readers with computer knowledge and technical abilities will then be able to make their own assessment.

Now you see the consequences in the New World.

BSE has arrived - a gift from Britain's crooked veterinary industry.

But it will be the computers that will trap the criminals and bring them to justice.

It is ironic that skills learned during the Falklands War will help.

The impact of the Falklands War was underestimated. It was the trigger that brought the Soviet Bloc to its knees. 

The last great adventure of a tired old Empire was to rescue a few hundred people from a tyranny. 

The Soviets and allies were dumbfounded, that the West would act on principle in this way. I saw the impact on some of them. The controversial Margaret Thatcher had kicked the first brick from the Berlin Wall in the South Atlantic.

It is ironic that Britain's corrupt veterinarians should bring just such a tyranny to the writer's door and should misuse computers to help.

That stubborn belief in freedom and right, shared by the Anglophone world, will deal with the problem.

Norfolk, 1 June  2003

the world of food and agricultural crime

from

 the appropriately  named Hangman's Cottage, just to the south of Misery Corner.